It’s “Throw-Back-Thursday” in the cyber-world. Old pictures posted on all social media. I enjoy looking at those pictures…its good to see history that I have lived.
My mother lives in the past-aloud. She loves to tell old stories (albeit with her how embellishments) and relive each moment, over and over and over and over and over again. We all get annoyed.
I love to think of the past. I like to have my quiet moments when I remember my grandparents and friends who used to be with us. I like to remember my successes and failed attempts at things so I can reflect and learn from them. I love the funny things. I often snicker out loud thinking about my grandfather doing the bugaloo around the kitchen after stubbing his toe.
I have a gift-I believe. Many might have the same one. But I choose to believe that this ability is a gift for me. My gift is that I rarely only see the good things of the past. I am not one to hold on to bad things. When I look back at discarded boyfriends, I don’t remember the fights or sadness I felt when they were gone. I remember the fun times we had together.
When I look back at horses, I remember the great rides in shows and not the times I was unloaded. I remember the moments of bonding with them and achieving that feeling of connection. I remember all the hard work (which I enjoyed) and having the wondrous moment when the great feel, great ride and undeniable connection all came together at the same moment. It was euphoric! When the judge finally noticed and pinned us with the blue, it was heart-rendering.
Why remember the bad? It is useless to us. It only builds walls and prevents us from seeing the good in front of us. Why feel the bad feelings over and over again? It just wastes our heart’s time by preventing us from feeling the good things like the sunshine, gut-busting laughter, peace. Some say, it protects us or prevents us from repeating the same mistakes or causing hurt to ourselves.
I say, I want to live a happy life. Bad things happen which make us anything but happy. If we cloud our minds with sadness, what do we have to pull ourselves through. It’s as if our minds are a library. We can fill it with happy books or sad ones. But when we need a resource to pull us through tough times, pulling a happy memory off the shelf seems so much more efficient.
I am thankful for my gift. I have moments of sadness and fear. I am grateful I can comfort myself in those times with some joy that I am certain I was a part. In knowing that, I can recreate it again, in future time.